Reality in Concept
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Words of Wisdom (Or Critizism)
"You're married to yourself and you had an affair with me."
- Hoochie Coochie Mamma (Famous Philosopher)
Monday, June 28, 2004
If the house is a rockin' don't come knocking...
"What was that?" she said.
"That was me baby you just never had it so good..." he said.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Causes of Wierd Dreams Found
LINCOLN PARK BED - Scientists have a new theory for a recent string of strage dreams. Sleep apnea causes unreast in its suffrers including the sensation of not bein able to breathe. "Its just a theory" spouts the theorist.
Monday, June 21, 2004
Breaking News...
LABORATORY - Scientists have taken a close look at current data collected today and made the startling conclusion: This Job Sucks. The conclusion only took 4187 days, 14 hours, 16 minutes and 47 seconds to make based upon tasks provided during current career. "Sure once in a while you get to be on TV, but for what, someone else’s accomplishment, that's what,” the researcher said. “Its no wonder that ½ of all the people hired at the place have left within 3 years of being here – and this place is supposed to be for career researchers.” Perhaps the conclusion is tied to fact that Justin has left and Frenchman #3 is going at the end of the month.
Monday, June 07, 2004
Doobs Gets New Projector and Labor Camp
CHINA - Doobs was all smiles with the aquisition of his new TV, he had so much 'spending inertia' he decided to buy a Labor Camp. See attached article:
Persecution at Qinghai Province's Women's Labor Camp Kills Ms. Tan Yingchun
Ms. Tan Yingchun (46) was a biology teacher at Kunlun Middle School in Xining City, Qinghai Province. In 2000, she was arrested and served a year in the Duoba Women's Labor Camp, in Qinghai Province.
http://clearwisdom.net/emh/articles/2003/3/14/zip.html
Doobs commented on the new acquisition, "I always wanted a Women's Labor Camp. And now I got one."
:)
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Blah blah blah Replaced Good Comebacks
INTERNATIONAL RESEARCH CENTER OF LINGUISTICS – Researchers have stumbled upon a new form of communication. The strange new prose is written “blah blah blah blah”. Apparently this text means whatever you want it to and somehow replaces wit and substance. Curiously, it even negates any opposing point of view. This remarkable discovery is expected to be exploited by many emerging markets. Expect a surge of companies using the new technology in the coming quarters.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Diode Properties Witnessed
Scientists have discovered an appearent "diode" effect of critisizm flow. "like a one-way valve, flow of blog banter is only tolerated in one direction, if flow tries to pass in the opposing direction the element heats up to dissipate the energy" Scientists hope to find a "Zener Potential" that will break this effect.
Ref:
Diode Charecteristics
Hoochie Factor Recalibrated, Scientists Baffled
DIMLY LIT LABORATORY - Scientists had theorized about the Hoochie Factor value (kilo-Hoochies) of Sugar for quite a while. Some preliminary evidence of hair flicking and dancing without regard to current partner in favor of general dancing to the rest of the bar was noted. At that point in time, scientists could only extrapolate upon this small data set. "It seems the subject transmorgafies into an altered state of Hoochie - dancing in seemingly choreographed smiles and rear-end shaking" However, the subject denies any accusations of slutty behavior coupled to the altered state. Also, subject has admitted to going to a very expensive basement bar "just to dance and have a good time" Other statements included "the guys there are weird, cheesy, and undesirable - I don’t care for the guys there."
New data has shattered previous theoretical models by several orders of magnitude. The Hoochie Factor measurements are now presented in MH (Mega-Hoochies). The far-fetched fringe theories of Hoochie-borderline-slutty were validated with "look-at-me-I-am-shaking-my-butt-to-this-song-for-you" moves and "hi my name is _____" to tonsil exploration in under a 20 minute period – so fast, several instruments will need to be recalibrated for future use. The Hoochie measurements were remarkably strong considering the dumpy-looking, chain-smoking, JCPenny-shirt-tucked-in, beer-bellied, dorky-hair focus of the attention was not paying much reciprocal attention. Also, the new data thoroughly explains how the self-proclaimed broke hoochie can afford $10 “well” drinks to the wee hours of the night. Scientists are scrambling to reconcile the gigantic Hoochieness with subject's accusations that her friends are ones that are slutty - in fact all Chicagoans are slutty. Meanwhile in an environment of about 100, the test subject was far and away the data outlier.
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Help for x-word puzzle
8. What [NAME] is always in search of at Gold Coast Bars
Name = Sugar
...is looking for and finds in basement Gold Coast Bar.
